Your comment about clericy and fellow feeling has cut me to my core! Abenaza! You would think I had asked you to cut off your toes to feed the fishies. You are, how you say, overreacting, yes?
HOWEVER! To demonstrate that there are no hard feelings, I will now return the favor of explaining to you the exploits of our courageous captain and crew.
We begin, as you very well know, with your, eh, unique idea to approach the Mermeans for help. I understand that Finland is quite close to Lemuria, and perhaps if we had been more diplomatic we could have gathered some important intelligence regarding my lost homeland. However, their temperment being...less than ideal (and Mon Capitan's cultural blunder regarding their facial fins) it came to violence. It was doomed to failure from the beginning, it turns out, because these particular sea creatures were in league with Kaos, they were sporting his brand underneath they newly shed skin. (The jerky was marvelosa by the way!).
We did come out on top, as one of the mermeans accidentally spilled the barnacles about a codeword that would be important in Lemuria. So you did not, completely, entirely, screw up. From a certain point of view.
Dhani opened his Dwarven Puzzle Box (which I know Genevieve had been preoccupied with lately) and discovered some treasures inside. The deed to his ancestral dwarven home, a journal belonging to his late uncle, and a Cloak of the Manta Ray. Most intriguing was the implication that a "purple skinned knockout" had appeared to this dwarf in a dream and instructed him to lock these things away. The cloak appeared at a time where Capitan would have otherwise been unable to travel as deep undersea as Lemuria. Maternal Intervention, perhaps? (As a cleric, I feel it necessary to state that, as a rule, I'm against gifts from devils, demons, and succubi---buuuut this directly benefitted me so I am going to let this slide, eh?)
Lemuria! We sank down to the lonely depths of the sea and beholding my fair city took my water away. Knowing that the foul beast that destroyed my people was there somewhere, creeping in the dark places nearly made my hair curl.
But there was beauty there too! Buildings of black stone rising on each street! Shops and towers and houses built with expertly cut blocks of obsidian! The fancier structures all trimmed and adorned with a bluish silver sirendibite!
But reminders of fallen glory were present as well. Beautiful crystals used to light the streets of Lemuria, but they have gone dark. They drew their light from the Cristal Madre in the very center of the city. For the crystals to be dark, the Cristal Madre must have been either broken or removed. I suspect that the creeping beast has stolen or destroyed one of the most important treasures of Lemuria!
It was near one of these darkened crystals that we were suddenly attacked by Sea Elf Zombies! Vaya contonsia, era shimai ! I was forced to raise my trident in violence against my own flesh! Even after we'd defeated them, the starfish attached to their heads popped off and attacked us too! Obviously agents of Kaos desecrating the bodies of fallen elves. Despicablan!
The fight took us from the city street to an abandoned lounge called Elso Mis Internum. That roughly translates to "Eels Inside of You." It's a reference to an old elf folktale where...well I guess that's not important right now. I'll tell you over dinner sometime! But, umm, maybe don't make unagi that night.
But I digress! We poked around this decrepit monument to fun and frivolity long vanished and made an incredible discovery. A Sea Elf clutchbox belonging to someone who spent her last moments barricaded in her dressing room. I still cannot believe that we found such a treasure! According to my mother, who told me of such things, clutchboxes had fallen out of fashion even before the first war with Kaos and the Sahuagin. It was seen as "stuffy" and "pessimistic." This elf, whoever she was, must have been a practitioner of the old ways. A hipster, such to speak.
I was certainly cause for celebration, so, heedless of danger, we kicked the old jukebox into service and danced our little leggies off! I had not heard before of this Love Shack, but it is a place I would like to see! However, the only landmark that the song provides is that it is "set way back in the middle of a field," which, is not exactly helpful.
Anyway, we were mooving and grooving and getting a bit carried away, I will say, when the whole shack shimmied! And an ancient, amphibious voice bellowed "ELF! I SMELL YOU ELF!" Valdon! It was the Deep Dragon himself, searching for moi! How will we get out of this one?!